Gone but not forgotten
by Wilemina
Summary: Abby is left with regret after an anomaly mission goes horribly wrong.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Gone but not forgotten

Characters/Pairings: Connor/Abby, Sarah/Becker, Danny, Lester

Genres/Warnings: Adult themes, angst, hurt/comfort, character whumpage

Disclaimer: Primeval and it's characters belong to Impossible Pictures, no copyright infringement is intended.

A/N: Be prepared with hankies, really hope you like it and please please please please please please review, it really makes my day! :-)

* * *

Connor looked over at Abby longingly as she sat at her desk immersed in her work. They had fallen out a few weeks ago over something really stupid which had culminated in her slapping him across the face. He rubbed his cheek at the memory, it had really hurt and left a nasty red mark which had lasted for days afterwards.

They had argued - they never argued, but Abby had treated Connor unfairly and for once he had called her on it, telling her in no uncertain terms that he was sick and tired of never knowing where he stood with her. She had called him an arsehole and he may have said something about her being a selfish bitch (he wasn't quite sure) that was when she slapped him, almost knocking him off his feet with the force of it.

He hadn't spoken to her at all for a week after that, even managing to avoid her at the flat they shared. But when it became apparent that working with someone you weren't talking to was actually quite difficult, he had forgiven her, he always forgave her.

Abby dropped a file on the floor and bent to pick it up, her blue t-shirt falling from her shoulder and revealing the top of her creamy white cleavage to his eyes. Connor sighed and put his head in his hands, this was just impossible, they'd said they were friends but things weren't really right between them. They had stopped eating dinner together and they hadn't had a movie night since before . . . He really, really missed their movie nights curled up on the sofa with Abby so close to him that he could feel her warmth and smell her shampoo.

He thought she liked them too, she always seemed smiley as they sat together on the sofa, even when she was rolling her eyes at his film choice. She would rest her head on his shoulder sometimes as they shared popcorn or pizza, thinking back, it was one of those movie nights that had caused all their problems in the first place. There was no wonder they had both avoided them since.

Abby sat back on her chair and looked up, she caught Connor staring at her and smiled. He wanted so desperately to smile back, but he couldn't quite bring himself to and looked away quickly typing furiously on his keyboard.

"You got that report for Lester?" Danny asked from behind him.

Connor turned to his friend, hitting a key on the keyboard. The printer on his desk sprang to life and began to print off the finished report he had been writing on their last encounter with an anomaly.

He thought for a moment about when he had actually started to think of Danny as his friend. They had after all gotten off to a rocky start - Danny having arrested him for trespassing.

"All done." He replied. "I really don't see why this is necessary, we never used to have to write reports."

"Yeah well, Lester thinks that with everything that's happened lately, we need to cover our backs."

Connor nodded and gathered up the papers, stapling them in the corner before handing them to Danny.

"Here's mine too." Abby said, handing him a file and smiling brightly.

Connor looked from his pitiful four page report to Abby's little binder which clearly had far more than four pages inside.

"Bloody hell, what did you write? A novel?" Connor asked, looking worried.

"No Connor, I did not write a novel." She replied, sounding more than a little annoyed.

"I only wrote four pages." He whined. "That'll be enough won't it Danny?"

"I'm sure it will Connor." He replied, patting him comfortingly on the shoulder.

Becker walked in and handed Danny a black binder.

"W . . w . . what's that?" Connor stuttered.

"My report." Becker replied matter-of-factly.

"Oh crap."

"I'm sure your report will be fine Conn." Abby chirped.

She reached across to touch his other shoulder but he pulled away.

"Yeah right, whatever."

He watched as Abby's face fell and she walked back to her work station, plonking herself down in her chair dejectedly. He couldn't prevent his knee jerk reaction, she'd hurt him and not just physically and although he had forgiven, he couldn't quite bring himself to forget, not yet.

At that moment Sarah walked in and began talking to Becker in hushed tones. Oh great, I suppose she needed a forklift to bring in her report for Lester. He frowned as he watched Sarah touch Becker's arm softly and then look around to see if anyone had noticed. Connor looked away quickly, glancing back to Abby instead which was a mistake because she was looking at him and when their gazes locked it was like they couldn't pull away.

The anomaly detector siren began to blast around the room and Connor hurried over to it followed quickly by the rest of the team.

"Right, what have we got Connor?" Danny asked.

Connor worked the keyboard, following the screen as it honed in on a location. At that moment, Lester appeared at the top of the ramp, watching as his people worked.

"Well that's just great!" Connor exclaimed.

"What?" Becker asked, leaning over his shoulder to take a look. "Oh dear."

Connor turned his head and looked up at Becker.

"I think that's the understatement of the century!" He replied.

"Where do we need to be?" Asked Abby, becoming impatient.

"Green Park, central London."

"Oh dear!" She replied, echoing Becker's earlier words.

* * *

They made it to Green Park in under fifteen minutes, despite the heavy London traffic. Because the area was highly populated and it was the middle of the afternoon, they had received a police escort. They could tell they were in the right place by all the people screaming and running in the opposite direction to the one they were headed.

"Well, at least the Queen's not home today." Connor stated, making conversation as they entered the park.

Abby looked across the road to the Palace and frowned.

"How the hell do you know that Connor?"

"The flag isn't flying." Becker offered in explanation. "The flag only flies when the queen is in residence."

"Oh." Abby replied, still frowning. It was beyond her how Connor knew half the stuff he did.

The anomaly was soon in sight, there not being much foliage to conceal its whereabouts. It was a small twinkle at the far edge of the park surrounded by the few trees and the team made their way in its direction.

A sudden and terrible roar echoed around them and they all froze.

"What was that?" Sarah asked, clearly terrified.

"I don't know, but I'm guessing it's carnivorous." Connor replied.

"Yay!" Abby exclaimed sarcastically.

"Right, Connor, Sarah, you two head off to the anomaly and get it locked down, the rest of us need to fan out with Becker's men and find whatever the hell it was that made that noise." Danny ordered.

Connor quashed down his disappointment at not being placed with Abby, but the way things were between them, it was probably a good decision on Danny's part to split them up.

"You should check St James' Park too, there's water there." He told Danny and Becker before hurrying off in the direction of the anomaly with Sarah.

* * *

It hadn't taken long for Connor and Sarah to reach the anomaly and lock it so that no more creatures from the past - or future as the case may be - could come through. Once they had done this they both stood, weapons at the ready in case anything should run at them.

"Are you ok?" Sarah asked him.

"What? Yeah fine, why wouldn't I be?" He replied, looking perplexed by her question.

"You just haven't seemed yourself recently."

"I haven't?"

Sarah looked at him and shook her head.

"You seem . . . sad." She explained.

"Right, well I'm not, I'm fine."

Sarah gave a half laugh.

"What?"

"People who use the word 'fine' are usually far from it."

Connor rolled his eyes at her and offered her a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, he knew he wasn't going to win whatever he said, so he said nothing, choosing instead to stand in silence and wait for word that they had found the intruder.

* * *

They heard the sound of gunfire first, of panicked shouts and furious high pitched roars. Connor could make out two people running towards them, one was obviously Abby, the other a soldier dressed in black. Abby was shouting something at the top of her lungs but both Connor and Sarah were struggling to hear over the many other noises.

"What?" He called out.

"The anomaly, unlock it!" She screamed.

Abby and lieutenant Ronson made it to the anomaly and stopped to catch their breath, Abby placing her hands on her knees and taking long gulps of air.

"Where is it?" Sarah asked.

"Believe me, it's coming and it's not happy at being shot at." Replied Abby.

They looked off into the direction that Abby had just come from and they could make out a small, brownish coloured creature. The closer it got however, the larger it appeared.

"Is it a . . . " Connor began.

"Raptor, yeah I think so." Abby finished his sentence for him. "It's so fast!"

And it was, it was almost upon them, they had moved to the side and away from the anomaly, Connor having unlocked it already. The hope was, as always, that the fearsome creature would play nice and return through from whence it came, therefore preventing any changes in their timeline.

Becker of course, as always, disagreed with this and had fired straight away, turning an already dangerous situation into a potentially lethal one in Abby's opinion. She had got the dinosaur's attention and hadn't found it that difficult to get it to chase her. Now came the hard part, getting it home before Becker and Danny got back.

The Raptor reached the anomaly and stopped just short of it. It turned it's smallish head and cocked it to one side, sniffing the air and looking curiously at the group of humans huddled together by a tree. It recognised the scent of it's prey - Abby - and rattled the spines on it's back menacingly.

Ronson raised his gun ready as the creature took a few tentative steps in their direction and Abby gave him a look that would give the Raptor a run for it's money.

"Don't shoot it!" She growled at him.

The Velociraptor snarled.

"Am I supposed to just let it eat us?" He asked.

"Just . . . don't!"

Abby put her hand up to his gun slowly and pushed it down.

The Raptor took another step towards them and Ronson raised his gun again, pushing against Abby's hand with his jaw set.

"Abby, maybe he's right, I think one of us is going to be lunch if not." Offered Connor.

"Well you would think that wouldn't you Connor?" She asked angrily.

Connor was hurt by her tone, it was obvious that she was making him out to be a coward and the pain from their previous argument and the events which preceded it came rushing back. He closed his eyes at the memory and bit down on his bottom lip, when he opened them again, Abby was no longer staring at him and was looking back at the creature.

Abby inwardly cursed herself. Why did she have to say these things to him? Why did she always have to hurt him in the worst ways possible? Connor didn't deserve that, he deserved better.

They were all pulled from their thoughts as the creature leapt suddenly, knocking Ronson from his feet, the gun flying through the air and landing a few feet away. The lieutenant was not it's target however, he didn't smell right and the dinosaur had his heart set on an Abby snack. It lunged for her but Connor pulled her back just in time causing her to land on the floor next to a shocked and dazed Ronson.

Now the Raptor decided that if it couldn't have the other human, then this one would do quite nicely and it bit into Connor's arm, it's jaw clamping down tight.

"ARRRRGH!" Connor screamed, the agony twisting and contorting his face.

"Connor!" Abby cried out. "Sarah, shoot it!"

She was the only one left with a gun - a tranquiliser and Abby could see that she was frozen with fear. Gone was Abby's earlier concern for altering the timeline, she had to save Connor. She scrabbled across the floor and grabbed the gun, turning and pushing herself to her feet.

The creature had already dragged Connor to the mouth of the anomaly, it's shear raw muscular power no match for him, especially seen as all he could concentrate on was the pain in his arm. As it reached it's destination, it let go of Connor and he fell to the floor clutching his injury. Sarah chose this moment to finally take a shot but she was too far away and the needle only just jabbed into the scaly skin before dropping out and falling to the floor.

Things seemed to be happening in slow motion Abby thought, though in reality they were happening remarkably quickly.

Now the Raptor was really angry and it rattled it's spines again for good measure, almost seeming to taunt them as it grabbed a groaning Connor by the ankle and began to drag him backwards through the anomaly.

"Noooooo!" Abby screamed, rushing forward and cocking the gun.

Connor dug his fingers into the ground in a futile attempt to fight the creature from pulling him to his death, the mud and grass going up his short nails and causing him even more pain and discomfort than he was already in.

Abby couldn't get a clear shot as he thrashed around and she cried out in frustration.

The last thing Connor said as his head disappeared through the bright light was; "Shoot me . . . please!"

And then he was gone.

"Oh God! No!" Exclaimed Abby, running towards the anomaly.

She closed her eyes and ran through, falling to her knees with a thud. When she opened them however, she was not in the cretaceous as expected, but still in Green Park. She looked behind her, the anomaly had closed and Connor was gone forever.

"Connor!" She sobbed, hugging her knees and rocking back and forth. "I'm so sorry!"

* * *

The rest of that day had been a blur to Abby. Ambulances, cleanup teams and questions, lots and lots of questions - none of which she answered. The only word she would utter was "Connor"

Sarah tried to comfort her, held a warm blanket around her as she cried, but nothing could ease the pain of losing her colleague and best friend. She had lost Stephen, then Cutter and now Connor, somehow the pain of losing Connor ran so much deeper. She was filled with regret for the way she had treated him in the last few weeks, he had been right; she was a selfish bitch and she hated herself for it.

As the months passed, life went on, but things weren't the same without Connor, never would be. They all missed him, the whole dynamic of the team changed and no one knew the anomaly detector the way he had.

Abby would sit in the big leather chair in front of it sometimes just spinning from side to side, running her fingers along the keyboard and picturing the way his always seemed to dance across it. She would picture the look on his face as he solved some unsolvable puzzle, or the way he would look when she refused to make him a cup of tea.

It wasn't until she ended up in hospital from malnourishment that Abby finally decided that she needed to start living again.

They had built a memorial in Connor's honour but she wouldn't go to it, it felt wrong somehow to mourn his death when there was no body. Instead, when Abby felt the need to be close to him, she would go to Green Park and sit on the grass in the spot where the anomaly had been, the spot where she had last seen Connor. Sometimes she would cry, sometimes she would talk to him and she would always be praying for the anomaly to re-open, even though she knew it was foolish to think that Connor was still there - waiting for her on the other side.

The one thing that haunted her, even when her health began to fail her and she was in and out of hospital, were Connor's last words. They echoed around her mind like a bad dream.

"Shoot me . . . please!"

She almost wished she had, the fear and agony he must have felt in his final moments was surely worse.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Gone but not forgotten - Chapter 2

Characters/Pairings: Connor/Abby, Becker/Sarah, Danny, Other

Genres/Warnings: Adult themes, mild language, angst, hurt/comfort.

Disclaimer: Primeval and it's characters belong to Impossible Pictures, no copyright infringement is intended.

A/N: Well, here it is, the next chapter. I'm going to dedicate it to JasperAndAlice for adding it to story alerts and their fave list, thank you! I was beginning to think nobody was reading this one. :-)

* * *

Connor Temple couldn't believe his luck, or lack thereof. Here he was, perched rather precariously up a tree millions of years in the past - again! Only thing was, things were so much worse this time. There was no nest in the tree to sit in and so he had to cling desperately to a branch. Worse still, there was no Abby! She had spurred him on last time, he'd had to be strong for her and doubted he would have returned to his own time without her presence.

He winced as a pain shot up his arm, oh yes his arm, that was in pretty bad shape too. Connor had been injured the last time he paid a visit to the Cretaceous, but that was just broken ribs and twisted ankle. He knew this was far worse, for the Raptor's teeth had sunk deep into his flesh, tearing it apart and quite frankly, Connor doubted that dinosaurs were very good with their dental hygiene.

It wouldn't be long before infection set in, travelling up his arm and to his heart, effectively killing him. He almost wished the Velociraptor **had **eaten him, at least that would have been quick. Now he had to sit up here alone, waiting for the inevitable. He doubted that the anomaly would re-open any time soon, could be months or even years, by then, for Connor, it would be too late. He could hope though, even now after hours of clinging to this tree, the rough bark chaffing his skin and hands splintered from the climb, there was always hope.

Connor thought back to the events that led to this moment, this terrible situation he'd found himself in. The Raptor had dragged him through but was behaving oddly, it let go of him and began to shake it's head. After a few minutes of staggering around, it threw up and then fell to the floor, it's breathing becoming more and more laboured. Connor wasted no time in scrambling up the tree and out of the way. He had watched on as little scavengers came and picked the bones of the dead Raptor clean as the sun went down over the cretaceous and thought it typical that the creature should injure him and trap him here only to go and die before it got the chance to eat him.

He thought of Abby, the look of horror and sadness on her face as he was dragged away. He knew that she cared for him, despite the way she acted sometimes and he hated to think of the state she would be in now, thinking he was dead. He snorted to himself, to her he was dead, long dead and fossilised under tonnes of rock and soil. At that thought Connor shivered, and then the panic set in.

Connor closed his eyes tight and breathed deeply, seeing flashing lights and sparks behind them. He really needed to get his breathing under control or he would get dizzy and fall from the tree. When he opened his eyes however, the flashing lights were still there and his heart and his hope leapt from his chest - the anomaly had re-opened, he could go home!

He quickly and clumsily made his way back down the tree, crying out softy when he scraped his injured arm on the trunk. Speed was of the essence, he didn't want the guys from the Arc getting to the anomaly on the other side and locking it down before he had a chance to get home, after all, there was no guarantee that it had re-opened in the same place. Cutter had proved that they opened along so called 'fault lines'. It had been in the Park before but there was nothing to say that it couldn't open in the middle of Piccadilly Circus next time, or even Buckingham Palace!

Connor jumped through the anomaly and immediately the cold air hit him. That was the first thing that struck him as odd. It was slightly darker here than it had been on the other side and that in itself wasn't unusual, it was obviously either really late or very early morning, and when he checked his watch he found that he hadn't been far off his guess.

The anomaly had re-opened in exactly the same spot as it had hours before and the traffic had now dimmed to a quiet lull on the usually busy city streets. The street lamps were lit but that temperature difference still bugged him. It was late spring, and had been unseasonably warm, even Connor had been wearing less clothes than usual but he was beginning to regret his wardrobe choice. He hugged himself in an attempt to get warm and then frowned, there was frost on the ground too.

He wasn't sure what to do, should he head back to the Arc? Or wait here for the cavalry to arrive. Then a horrible thought struck him, what if him being trapped in the past for six hours had inadvertently changed the present? He remembered Cutter and the state he had been in when he returned from an anomaly and said that the present had changed, that someone he loved had been wiped from existence. What if the Arc project didn't exist and his team had never gotten together? What if he'd never met Abby or worse, what if **she** never even existed? Oh God! He was hyperventilating.

There was engine noise close by and Connor looked up to see a four by four approaching. It's headlights were bright and he shielded his eyes with his uninjured hand. His nerves started to settle as he saw that it was an Arc standard issue silver Hilux.

The vehicle came to a stop a few feet away and the doors opened. Danny exited first and stood there staring at Connor slack jawed. Sarah followed and squealed his name in that high pitched way some girls did when they were pleased to see you. She ran to him at full speed and threw her arms around him, almost throwing him off balance.

"Oh Connor! I can't believe it! I can't believe it's really you!"

Danny had recovered from his shock and was approaching the pair, Becker following not far behind.

"Connor! Mate! Great to see you!" Danny said, a huge smile on his face.

Sarah finally let go of him but was eying him strangely and Danny gave him a hug, an actual hug! Slapping his back and laughing with the relief of seeing a long lost friend. Becker was next, hugging him too, if somewhat more uncomfortably but still - Connor could feel the affection behind it.

This was all more than a little odd, they must have really thought that he was dead and gone and then he realised that the most important person was missing.

"Where's Abby?" He asked.

Becker, Danny and Sarah exchanged glances.

"She's taking some time off." Explained Sarah. "She's not been well recently."

Connor frowned, had she been hurt by the Raptor?

"Is she ok?"

"She's feeling a little better than she has been I think." Sarah offered.

She didn't want to give too much away, it wasn't her place to tell Connor about Abby's health.

"Did the Raptor get her? Did I hurt her when I pushed her to the ground?"

He had so many questions, he wanted to see Abby, no, **needed** to see Abby. Coming so close to death, thinking he'd never see her again, it had made him realise a few things.

"The Raptor?" Becker asked, looking confused.

"Connor, Abby hasn't been right since you left, she hasn't been taking care of herself very well but I think she's realised that she has to now, she'll be ok." Danny said soothingly.

"But I don't understand! She was fine this morning, she would have told me if she was sick!"

He knew they hadn't exactly been seeing eye to eye lately after everything that had happened between them, but surely he would have noticed if Abby was ill. The entirety of Danny's words hadn't sunk into Connor's brain and he was feeling more than a little woozy. He suspected that he had lost quite a lot of blood.

"This morning? Connor what are you on about?" Sarah was looking more and more concerned.

"You don't have a beard." Danny stated suddenly.

"What?" Connor sounded incredulous.

How could he tell him that Abby was unwell and then say something as ridiculous as that?

"I know what it is now that's been bugging me since I first saw you." He explained. "You should have grown a beard after all this time, but you haven't."

Connor began to panic again, he could feel his heart pounding against his ribcage.

"A . . . a . . . after . . . all this . . . time?" He stammered. "It's only been about six hours."

"Six hours? Connor, you've been gone six months!" Sarah exclaimed. "We held a memorial service for you and everything!"

"It was very beautiful." Becker added.

* * *

Connor couldn't remember much after that, he was vaguely aware of being led to the car, of Becker taking a look at his arm - he'd screamed like a girl at that which was hard to forget. The next thing he knew he was at the hospital and a doctor was assessing his injury to see if it was bad enough to need surgery. It wasn't thank God and a nurse came in to wash it and stitch it.

The nurse was in the process of applying a dressing when Abby finally arrived at the hospital. When she had received the call from Danny, she hadn't believed it at first and had called him back to see if she'd dreamt it. After finding out that the news was genuine, she had dressed and rushed to her car, despite Danny's insistence that she stay where she was and they would bring Connor to her after he had been stitched back together.

Six months was enough - six long months of thinking he was dead. She wasn't going to wait another second! She had to see his face, hold him close, tell him she was sorry.

When Danny saw her marching down the corridor, he gritted his teeth and walked up to meet her.

"How is he?" She asked.

"He's ok. Abby, I told you not to come! You should be resting!"

"I'm fine!" She growled.

She pushed her way past him and to the cubicle where Connor was receiving his treatment.

"Wait! Abby!" He called after her. "There's something you should . . . "

But she was already gone.

* * *

Abby watched from the doorway as the nurse tended his wounds, he hadn't seen her yet and was just sitting there staring off into space. She took a moment to take in the sight of him, covered in dirt and dried blood, his trousers and t-shirt torn.

"Connor!"

It came out as a whisper, her voice hoarse with emotion.

Connor turned, his lips immediately curling into a smile when he saw her. Abby couldn't help but run to him and he stood, ignoring the nurses protests as he pulled away. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his muddy cheek.

"You're alive!" She stated.

Connor raised his eyebrow, something large and round was wedged between them and he couldn't quite figure out what it was. He pulled away, holding her firmly by the shoulders and smiling reassuringly at her before letting his eyes drift down slowly to the source of his discomfort.

Oh!

"Oh wow! Abby . . . you're erm . . . you're pregnant?" He exclaimed in shock.

Abby nodded, biting her bottom lip and avoiding his gaze.

"Yeah." She replied softly.

"Oh, ok, oh . . . I erm . . . Congratulations I guess."

"Thanks."

She still wouldn't look at him and he let his hands fall from her shoulders.

Connor felt sick, not only had he missed six months of his life, but he had missed six months of Abby's too. She had moved on, met a nice man and they were obviously wasting no time settling down and starting a family. He wanted to scream, Abby was his or at least, she would have been one day and those stupid anomalies had taken all that away from him. He was starting to wish he hadn't bothered coming home.

"We missed you." She said in a small voice. "I missed you."

"Yeah?"

He wanted to say so much more, wanted to shout at her, she obviously hadn't missed him that much had she? But he could see she was delicate, Danny and Sarah had said she'd been ill, it was probably to do with the baby. And as much as he was angry at the world for continuing without him, it wasn't Abby's fault, she had been through a lot and certainly didn't need his ranting added on top of that.

Becker appeared at the doorway.

"Abby can I have a word?"

"Will you be ok?" She asked.

She really didn't sound like Abby at all, her voice was so quiet and had an almost nervous quality to it. She had huge shadows under her eyes and her pale skin was even paler than usual. Connor had a sudden overwhelming urge to protect her, to hold her in his arms and never let go but he squashed it down and swallowed hard.

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

Abby nodded and walked away and Connor sat back down to let the nurse finish her task.

* * *

"What is it?" Abby sighed as she walked out into the corridor with Becker.

"There's something you should know - about Connor."

"What?"

"Maybe you should sit down."

Abby sighed louder this time, she was sick of being treated like she was made of glass.

"For God sake Becker, just tell me!"

So he took a deep breath and he did. From the time the anomaly detector went off, to them bringing Connor to the hospital.

Abby sat down hard on a plastic chair.

"Six hours? To him it was only . . . Six hours?"

She tried to imagine the enormity of what Connor must be feeling, but it was difficult to comprehend. There was no wonder he looked so shocked when he saw her huge pregnant belly. She looked strange to anyone, a large baby bump on such a tiny frame but to Connor who as far as he was concerned, had seen her just this afternoon with the flat tummy that she was missing so much lately. Well, to saw it must be bizarre would be an understatement.

"I can't believe it!" She stated. "I just . . . Connor!"

She eased herself from the chair and made her way back to the treatment room. When she arrived there however, Connor was nowhere to be seen.

Abby hurried to the nurse, grabbing her arm.

"The man that was here - Connor Temple - Where is he?" She asked.

"He's gone love, discharged himself, wouldn't even wait for these."

She held up a bag of pills.

Abby took them from her and rushed from the room as fast as her body would allow.

"Becker! Danny! Did you see where Connor went?"

"What? No, why?" Danny asked in alarm.

"He's gone!" She answered miserably.

_TBC_


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Gone but not forgotten - Chapter 3

Characters/pairing: Connor/Abby, Danny, Becker/Sarah

Genres: Angst, hurt/comfort, fluff

Disclaimer: Primeval and it's characters belong to Impossible Pictures, no copyright infringement is intended.

A/N: This is it, the third and final chapter where all mysteries are solved and of course, there is the obligatory fluff. *rolls eyes* Hope you have all enjoyed this fic as much as I have writing it, I always appreciate your comments so much!

* * *

Becker and Danny had searched all through the busy London hospital but had been unable to find any sign of Connor. Abby had been ringing and ringing his mobile and had sent him numerous texts whilst Sarah brought her cups of tea and tried to keep her as calm as possible.

"Abby he'll be ok, I know he will, he probably just needed to be alone for a bit."

"But he's been alone long enough!" She sighed, barely holding back tears.

"Not to him, it hasn't been as long for him."

Abby nodded solemnly, she kept forgetting that Connor hadn't even been missing for a day as far as he was concerned.

"I just . . . I hadn't finished . . . I needed to talk to him, tell him I'm sorry - for everything."

Sarah touched Abby's arm comfortingly and then reached tentatively for her rounded belly, running her hand over it softly.

"You need to rest, for the baby's sake, we don't want your blood pressure getting as high as it was before do we?"

Abby finally turned to look at Sarah, shaking her head as silent tears began to fall unchecked.

"It's ok for you, you have everything." Abby whispered, looking over at Becker.

Sarah looked startled and Abby was sure that she probably thought no one new about their relationship. In reality, it was plain for anyone who was close to them to see that Sarah and Becker were an item.

Danny approached and ruffled Abby's hair affectionately. They had all been doing their utmost to protect her over the last six months. He had watched in concern as she had grown slowly thinner and thinner, her skin paler and paler. She wouldn't turn in to work some days and he would go to her flat and find her huddled in a ball on the bathroom floor.

He had begged her time and time again, as had Sarah, to go to the doctors, to get some counselling, anything that might help her to get over the tragedy of losing Connor. There was only so much their love and support alone could do for her.

It wasn't until she collapsed in her lab that he had finally dragged her to the hospital - by now, too weak to put up much of a fight. That was when she had found out that she was five months pregnant. The doctors had said it was a miracle that the baby had survived and seemed to be growing healthily and Danny thought it would somehow spur her on to look after herself again - for her child's sake.

The news that she was expecting seemed to drive her even deeper into the depths of despair however. She would just sit in front of the anomaly detector for hours on end, not speaking, not eating. Sarah brought her food which she would nibble at for a second but they would find it in the bin hardly touched.

When the baby had finally had enough of her starving herself, she was rushed to hospital in premature labour, her blood pressure had been sky high and the doctors said this time that the baby was very small to say she was almost seven months pregnant.

That was what gave Abby the wake-up call she needed. They managed to stop her labour and she began to eat again - small amounts at first, but she was soon eating almost normally. Danny suspected that she still wasn't sleeping though, the dark circles under her eyes were a major give away.

"C'mon, let me take you home." He offered.

She nodded miserably and let him help her to her feet and they walked together arm in arm.

As they got to the exit, something caught Danny's eye as he looked across the road to a small seating area. A familiar figure sat there dejectedly, elbow on knees and head in his hands.

"Look who's here." Danny said, nudging Abby softly.

She looked up from staring at the floor and spotted him, she knew it was Connor, would know his shaggy mop of dark hair and the shape of his body anywhere. Abby gave a watery smile and pulled away from Danny, hurrying over to where her friend was sitting.

"Hey." She greeted.

He looked up but he didn't smile.

"Hi."

"We didn't know where you were, we were really worried about you."

She sat down carefully on the bench next to him and he eyed her suspiciously, his gaze settling on her bump.

"Sorry, needed to clear my head."

"Ok, that's understandable."

She had so much to say to him, but with his mind in such a fragile state, she worried she would overwhelm him. Maybe she should start with something simple.

"I'm so sorry Connor!"

"For what?"

What was she sorry for? For falling out with him and being a bitch? For moving on while he was gone? For getting . . . pregnant? Connor's mind was reeling from today's revelations.

"For everything, I'm just . . . I was so . . . I'm sorry."

He nodded his acceptance of her apology and she seemed to visibly relax.

"Who is he?" He asked.

He had to know, even though the knowledge would surely break him even more than he was already.

"Who?"

She looked confused.

"The baby's father."

Connor choked on the words.

He heard the startled little hitch in her throat and felt suddenly ashamed. She was fragile and upset and the last thing she needed was to have to answer to him.

"I . . . Connor, I'm eight months pregnant!" She exclaimed as though he should know something that he clearly didn't.

He looked at her like she'd suddenly sprouted another head.

"And?"

"I was pregnant before you left."

He frowned, he still wasn't following.

"There's been no one else. Connor the baby's yours!"

"Mine?" He asked incredulously.

"Yes, you're the father Connor, you're my baby's daddy."

She sniffed, running her hands across her swollen abdomen as the baby kicked gently.

"But I . . . but we . . . I mean I used . . . "

"A condom? I know, but it kind of . . .slipped off a little."

Connor's eyebrows almost disappeared into his hairline.

"Why didn't you say something?"

"I thought it would be ok, I mean, it wasn't exactly . . . "

She broke off, unable to think of the right words.

"Good?" He offered.

They had both been drunk, sitting on the sofa together watching a movie. It had been clumsy and awkward and had lasted about five seconds, there's no wonder Abby had decided afterwards that it was a mistake.

"What? No Connor! That's not what I meant! We'd been drinking, it all happened so fast I just. . . I panicked that's all, you didn't deserve how I treated you and I'm sorry."

"So you knew you were having my baby before I got trapped in the past but you didn't think to say anything?"

His anger and frustration had suddenly renewed.

"I didn't Connor, I swear, I was too busy worrying about other things to even notice that I was late."

He looked at her face now, really looked at her and his anger immediately deflated, she looked so vulnerable. He reached out and stroked her cheek, pushing a strand of her now longer hair from her face. She closed her eyes at his touch and he so desperately wanted to hold her in his arms. She didn't want him though, not in that way, she'd made that clear in their argument before he'd left.

His eyes drifted again to where his child was growing inside her, that thought filled him with both fear and pride and he moved his hand, letting it hover just above her warmth.

"You can . . . If you want." She whispered.

In an instant, something inside his mind closed off again and he snatched his hand away, standing quickly.

"I need to think, I'm going to go for a walk." He stated.

"Oh . . . ok." She replied quietly, trying to hide the hurt from her voice.

"You should go home, you look tired." He advised.

Abby watched as he walked away and wiped desperately at her tear streaked face. He didn't want her, didn't want their child, it was too much for him and she should have known better.

* * *

As Connor walked away from a clearly upset Abby, Danny appeared and grabbed his arm roughly.

"Don't you go upsetting her Connor!" He growled angrily. "She's been through a lot!"

"Yeah? Well so have I!"

"Oh don't give me that." Danny replied, letting go of his arm. "You've been up a tree for six hours, Abby's suffered for six months! Thinking you were dead, blaming herself, almost losing her baby. We've only just managed to get her health back on track, don't you come and undo it all."

Danny had watched as they'd talked on the wooden bench. Abby had never spoken about the father of her baby and no one had ever asked but her friends knew it was Connor without having to hear the words to confirm it. They could tell from the way she acted, and from the way Connor and Abby had been acting before all this mess started.

"I didn't mean to upset her." Connor replied dejectedly. "This is just a lot to take in, it's like 'oh hi Connor, we're pleased to see you, you've been missing for six months and have been declared dead - oh and by the way, you're going to be a dad.' How am I supposed to react to that?"

Danny sighed. So she'd told him had she? He'd thought as much when he saw Connor reaching for her bump.

"Connor, I know this must all be a bit much but Abby really needs you, the baby's due in four weeks and she needs the man she loves to be there for her."

"She doesn't love me. " He said sadly.

"Of course she does, she wouldn't have reacted to your death the way she did if she wasn't in love with you."

"I don't know if I can . . . "

"You can and you will! I'm going to take her home, I suggest you have a good think and then go home yourself."

Connor nodded in agreement and disappeared into the night, Danny going in the opposite direction to collect Abby.

* * *

Connor crept into the flat as quietly as possible. It was 5am and just beginning to get light outside. Sid and Nancy were snuggled together in their basket, snoring away happily and he suspected that Rex was up in the rafters somewhere.

He went into the bathroom and gave himself a strip-wash. Unable to get into the shower because of his bandage covered arm and ankle. He felt better once he had removed the last traces of the cretaceous from his skin and tip-toed up to his room to change into some fresh clothes.

As he pulled on some boxers and grabbed a t-shirt out of his drawer, he heard a sound; the familiar creaking of Abby's bedroom door opening and her groan as she padded into the living room. She groaned again and he panicked; he hoped he hadn't caused her to go into early labour by upsetting her earlier.

Connor rushed down the stairs, almost tripping over his feet, to see her perched on the sofa, rubbing her back.

"Are you ok?" He asked in concern.

She looked up in surprise and her face lit up as she saw him.

"Connor! I didn't know you were home, I'm sorry if I woke you."

"You didn't, what's wrong?"

He walked up to her.

"Can't sleep, backache. Its impossible to get comfy when you're the size of a house you know."

"You're not the size of a house." He replied, sitting beside her.

He found it ironic that the last time they were sat here on the sofa together (which had been only two months ago to him), it had resulted in her pregnancy and now here they were again.

"I feel it."

"I think you look beautiful."

She looked up at him through her lashes and smiled bashfully.

"Thanks."

"Here."

He placed his hands on her shoulders and began to massage her aching muscles.

Abby moaned softly.

"Is this ok?" He asked.

"Hmmmm, it's good."

He let his hands drift up and down her back, letting her moans of satisfaction guide him to where they were needed most.

"You kept my things." He stated, his fingers still moving.

"What do you mean?"

"My clothes and stuff, I've been gone for six months but my bedroom's still just how I left it."

"I couldn't." She whispered softly, her voice wavering. "I couldn't throw it away, it was all I had left."

Connor let his head fall forward briefly to connect with the back of hers.

"I'm sorry."

"It wasn't your fault!" She exclaimed. "If anything, it was mine, I should have let Ronson shoot the bloody Raptor."

She tried to turn and look at him, but he turned her back and massaged her shoulders firmly.

"Don't you dare blame yourself! It wasn't your fault, it just happened and there is nothing we can do to change that ok?"

He felt her nod and after a few moments, she began to relax again as he continued to work his magic on her sore spots.

"OH!" She exclaimed suddenly.

Connor took his hands off her quickly.

"What? What is it? What's wrong?"

"Nothing . . . .OW! Stop that!"

Connor was completely confused and more than a little concerned.

"Abby?"

"It's ok, it's just the baby having a good old kick. It's because I'm so relaxed, likes to keep me on my toes."

She chuckled and Connor found himself staring down at where his baby was again.

"Can I . . . ?"

He put his hand near her bump and Abby pushed herself back, laying her back against his chest.

"Course you can."

She gabbed his hand and placed it on her abdomen.

Connor wasn't sure how to react, what he should say. Her stomach felt odd; hard and stretched and warm, really warm even under her nightshirt. He rubbed his hand over it, feeling the contours, the little bit in the middle that stuck out which he was guessing was her bellybutton.

"Weird!"

He cursed himself, he certainly hadn't wanted that to be the first word that came from his lips. He waited for the obligatory slap or verbal abuse from Abby but none came.

"I know, isn't it?"

She pressed her hand down on top of his softly.

"C'mon baby!" She scolded. "This is your Daddy and he wants to feel you kicking."

Connor's heart raced at the word which rolled so easily from Abby's lips - Daddy - and she was using it to describe him, he was going to be a Father!

"Maybe I should try some more massage, seemed to like that." Connor joked.

Abby laughed, her fingers drawing little circles on his hand and Connor's hope returned. Maybe Danny was right, she did love him, she did need him. He brought his other arm around her and she clasped that hand tightly.

There was a humungous pressure from under his other hand suddenly.

"WOAH!" He exclaimed.

"There ya go."

"That's amazing!" He cried out in awe.

"It is isn't it?" Replied a grinning Abby.

This was the first time Abby had truly appreciated her baby's kicks and movements. She'd never had Connor to share them with before and it all felt so unreal, she'd distanced herself from the entire situation. Kidding herself that it was all just a bad dream, that one day she would wake up and things would be ok again.

"I can't believe that's my baby in there."

"Our baby." She corrected, sounding sleepy.

"Yeah, _our _baby."

He liked the sound of that.

"Connor?"

She yawned.

"Yeah?"

"You're not leaving again are you?" She whispered.

"No Abbs, I'm not going anywhere." He replied, moving the hand that wasn't resting on her tummy and stroking her head affectionately.

She settled more comfortably against him and he felt her stomach ripple as the baby moved again, more of a roll than a kick this time. Abby didn't seem to notice though and she sighed softly. It was then that Connor realised that her breathing had evened out; she was sleeping.

He couldn't help but smile to himself, maybe he could be there for her after all if this was all she needed from him. His fear had been irrational; she didn't want his blood or to string his guts out to dry on the washing line. She wanted him to hold her close and tell her everything was alright, that he would be there for her no matter what.

He pulled the throw from the back of the sofa and covered them both up, not really caring that he was uncomfortable in this position. Abby needed the rest, he could sleep later, she came first now. Connor finally felt at ease with the knowledge that when the Raptor had taken him he hadn't been forgotten, life hadn't moved on without him. Abby had missed him and Abby had loved him - she still did.

_**The End**_


End file.
